I have decided to put the journal entries that I wrote in 2008 into the blog. I didn't keep the journal up, which is the reason why I have started this blog for Trent to look at in years to come.
April 28, 2008 (My first journal entry)
I am finally starting my journal to you, Trent (and to any other children that I may hopefully have in the future). I got the idea of starting a journal a few months ago. I read Firefly Lane by Kristen Hannah and one of the characters wrote a journal to her children because she was dying of breast cancer. Now, I hope since I am starting this journal it doesn’t lead me down that path because I plan on being around to watch you and your children grow up. So, after reading that book I thought what a great idea the journal was. I really don’t know what I hope to accomplish by keeping this journal, except that I want you to know what gift you are to me and how much I love you. So here it goes…
Once upon a time (ha ha) I was blessed with a perfect little boy who we named Trent. When you were born you were 3 weeks early and in the breech position, so I had to have a c-section, which wasn’t all that bad. Your Dad and I tried for almost a year to conceive you and when I was starting to lose hope I found out I was pregnant with you. We had a scare at about 8 weeks when I had some bleeding. We went to the ER and they found I had a blood clot in utero. They said the clot may go away with time or I may miscarry. Well, that talk of miscarrying didn’t last long when I saw your heart beating on the monitor. I can remember it as if it were yesterday. The sound of your heart beating was all I needed to know that everything was going to be just fine. So month after month you kept growing and growing. I didn’t have any morning sickness, which was nice because I hate to throw up. You really didn’t give me any problems at all, except that I couldn’t find out that you were a boy until I was 7 months along. You never did cooperate at my regular ultrasound appointments, so your Dad and I got a 3D ultrasound and even then I had to go back a second time and hope you would be in the right position. You finally were and we found out your sex. I must admit I really wanted a girl, but now I can’t even imagine my life without my little boy. The 3D ultrasound also confirmed that you were breech, but there was time for you to move into the right position.
It was a Monday and I had just stopped working the week before and I was going to start preparing your room for your arrival. In the last few weeks of the pregnancy I had a lot to do. Well, you had other plans. I had gone to the grocery store, had done some cleaning and then laid down to take a nap. I had probably slept for an hour or so, when I felt water on my legs. I went to the bathroom and stood in the tub to wipe up and then went back to bed, hoping that I wouldn’t leak anymore. I thought that couldn’t be my water breaking it was too early. So, I laid back down and what do you know it happened again. So, this time I really knew my water had broken. I called your Dad and he said, “Tanya, are you sure you just didn’t go pee?” I told him, “Yes, I think my water broke and it’s not pee.” I then called Grandpa Wayne and Todd answered the phone and I told them to come take me to the hospital. Grandpa said he has never seen Todd move so fast. They got to the house pretty quick. Your Dad got to the hospital pretty quickly too, considering he had to drive from his work in Century City.
Once at the hospital things started to slow down a bit. It wasn’t until the evening when I started to have contractions. Your Dad was fond of saying that the contractions weren’t that bad. Yeah right! Trent, promise me that when you are married and your wife is in labor and having contractions you won’t tell her they aren’t that bad. Your Dad was a trooper though. After about two or so hours of contractions, I was ready for the epidural. Once I got the epidural everything was just fine. You were in position and I was on my way to having a little boy in no time. About five hours after getting the epidural I had almost fully dilated and the nurse came in to check on me and said in about an hour I could start pushing, but she would come back and check on me in a bit. She did come back to check on me and low and behold you had turned around and were back in your favorite position…breech! The nurse could not believe it. She had another nurse come in to confirm it. Yep, you were breech. I ended up having an emergency c-section and you were born on August 24, 2004 at 6:44 a.m. and weighed in at 6 lbs. 14 oz. The best day of my life and the day before my 28th birthday.
I can remember so clearly your little hands when your Dad carried you over to me. I asked him does he have all his toes and fingers. I know what does it matter, I would love you just the same. I had you on a Tuesday and we took you home Friday afternoon. You were a bit jaundice, but that was getting out of your system and you were doing great. We were more than ready to take you home. I couldn’t believe you were here and I was a bit nervous because I wasn’t expecting you so soon. I am sure you know by now that I like everything just right and on schedule, so you surprised us and things were a bit chaotic, but we would manage. Enough writing for today. More about your adventures tomorrow. Love You!
Holding my baby boy for the first time.
Daddy took a quick picture of you in the nursery.
You had to be in the billi bed for the jaundice.
Sometimes you weren't so thrilled about it.
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