My Beloved Cat Batman

I am still trying to cope with the loss of my oh so loving and loved cat Batman (I am pretty sure it is going to take a long time). I think I am in shock and/or denial, but the reality of him not being with us hits me every time I walk into the house and I don't hear him crying for me or laying on the kitchen counter or on the window sill.  I have written about my two cats Batman and Princess before and how I found them abandoned on the side of the street 14 1/2 years ago. They have always been my everything, even when I married Tim and even after I had Trent.  They have always meant so much to me and I just love them so much.

So, it came as quite a shock on Wednesday night when Trent and I were reading on the couch around 6:45 and I heard Batman crying this awful cry, which usually means he is about to throw up. Even Trent knows that when he hears that awful cry that Batman is likely to throw up a hairball...so gross I know, but that was my life always cleaning up after Batman.  His cry did sound a bit more distressed than usual, so I went into the dining room and he was lying on the floor panting and I went to pick him up and noticed that his hind legs were paralyzed.  I started freaking out.  The panting and crying was awful and on top of that the loss of his hind legs was overwhelming and I think I started hyperventilating and everything just started going blank.  I was yelling to Trent not to come into the dining room because I didn't want him to see Batman like that then I started telling him to call Tim.  Trent then started freaking out because he didn't want Batman to die. During those first few minutes I didn't know what to do.  Then I took some deep breaths, had Trent come into the dining room and sit with me and Batman and I called Tim.  For some reason, Tim was not on his phone and didn't see/hear the phone ring...which was just making me freak out a bit more. He finally got home about 10 minutes later and we started to discuss our options. We decided not to take Batman to the 24 hr vet because I knew (I didn't want to accept it) that there probably wasn't much they could do for him...he was 14 1/2 years old and I wasn't going to put him through test after test and I definitely wasn't going to have him go through a surgery.  I also wasn't ready to say goodbye to him that night.  I thought maybe in the morning he would miraculously be all better.  As Princess watched over her brother I went to bed and then woke up every 2 hours to check on him.  At one point, I found him laying in the litter box and another time he was just laying under the dining room table and he looked like he did any other night. In the morning, his condition hadn't changed.  He was no longer panting or crying he was just laying still. Tim and Trent said their tearful goodbyes and I took him to our local vet.  

The vet was pretty certain that it was a blood clot in his heart, the clot then breaks up and travels to the hind legs and cuts off the circulation and it is downhill from there.  It's irreversible.  To confirm her diagnosis she did some x-rays and it showed that it was a clot and that his heart and kidneys were a bit enlarged and his lungs had some fluid, so his body was beginning to shut down.  The vet said that if I wanted I could take him home and he could pass there, but I didn't want Trent to see that.  I was given some time to say my goodbyes and like also he just cuddled up to me and let me talk to him.  When it was time I held my beloved Batman to the end and he passed away peacefully.  I could not have asked for a better experience of letting Batman go. Of course, I was a crying mess, but the staff at the clinic was so compassionate and that made it a tiny bit easier letting him go.  I never wanted him to suffer and I don't think he did.  He knew his Mommy was by his side till the end.    

It was all just so unexpected...in just over 12 hours from when he got the clot he was gone. I just can't believe it.  I go back and forth from thinking is it better that he went fast or would I have wanted it dragged out...I think that it happening quickly was good and there wasn't too much suffering.  Princess isn't sure what to do.  That night she watched over Batman and now I look at her and I swear she has sad eyes.  The vet said that maybe she will become more social...we will see.  
I am going to make a photo album of the cats through the years and had a fun scanning a lot of old pictures and reminiscing about living in Connecticut and the small studio we lived in when we moved back to California. Good times for sure.

When Batman was a kitten there was a lot of crying.  He never had any problem telling me exactly what he wanted.

 It took these two awhile to figure out how not to get fifthly while eating.

 They loved tackling and chasing eachother around the house.  I heard them rough housing at night just a few months ago.  Nutballs!

 Batman hiding under my bed.

 Princess too.

 They loved being next to eachother, whether it was right next to eachother or on top.

 Pretty Princess.

 

 Batman loved to stretch out.

 My loves.

 The cats becoming adjusted to life in Connecticut...Batman, of course, on top of me.

 This ball of paper provided hours of entertainment for them.

 A favorite spot of theirs on top of the tv.

 Batman getting to know Tim.

 Batman in the laundry basket.

 Princess always hiding.

 Batman wasn't afraid of water and he loved going into the shower.

 Princess loves to be as high as possible.  Batman right next to the tv laying on some clothes.

This time Batman was higher than Princess.

 Batman helping me iron...not!

 It didn't matter what it was they had to lay on it or in it.

 He doesn't really fit in the basket, but that doesn't matter to him.

 Batman in the bucket right before I was going to fill it up with Pine Sol to clean the floor.

Taking a cat nap.

 Batman enjoying his time meeting the trick or treaters in Connecticut. 

 Batman loved when the Christmas tree was up and he could bat at the ornaments.

The fish tank was another fun past time for Batman.  He would bat at the glass when the fish would swim by him.

 
That can't be comfortable!

Classic Batman long and floppsy...Classic Princess balled up and stiff.

 Where's Batman?

Batman playing the guitar with Tim.

Batman in the pot...seriously he would lay anywhere.

This can't be comfortable, but it must be because he is sound asleep.

As usual, in the most bizarre place.

My two cuties.

Batman checking out what Tim got one year for his birthday.

Batman was glad the gift was out of the box so he could lay in it.

I will miss Batman so much, but I take comfort in all my memories of him and how loving he was.  He was always there to snuggle up to me, which I loved. Every time I walk into the kitchen I will see my Batman laying on the window sill waiting for me.